I went to bed that night thinking that there wouldn’t be anything new happening. That the next day I would wake up with no progress in Jaxson arriving. I was huge, uncomfortable, exhausted, and miserable. I woke up to go to the bathroom, like I normally would 8-12 times in the middle of the night, feeling a little weirder than normal, but nothing that made me question or be concerned. When I went back to bed it was about 4:30am and I couldn’t lay down. It hurt my bad horribly. So I sat on the edge of the bed for a few minutes. I knew that I was having contractions, but I figured they were just the Braxton-Hicks contractions. The only thing that was really different about them, though, was that they were in my lower back and hips, instead of my stomach.
I decided that it was time I started to time them on my phone. Nothing major was happening, so I didn’t wake up Brenden. I knew that if it was time, that he would need to get as much sleep as he needed, because I would need him sooner than later. I timed the contractions for about 30 minutes. At first they were about 7 minutes a part, then very shortly after about 3 timings, they went to 3-5 minutes a part. I knew it was time to wake Brenden up. I was getting a little anxious because I had never done this before and didn’t know if it was real, BECAUSE the contractions were not in my stomach. I never knew that someone could have back labor before then.
I woke Brenden up and he sat there with me for a couple more contractions, and we timed those. I felt them getting much stronger and told him that it was time to wake up my mom. He hurried to the other bedroom and woke her, and she came in to check on me. I remember she asked how I was doing, if I was okay, and just watched me with her eyebrows raised and smiling, knowing what was going on. I remember seeing the excitement in her face! 🙂 By now, I was somewhat hungry, and was slowly waddling out to the front room. I ate a granola bar (I think?) and was shortly on my hands and knees, deep breathing. (PS – We decided to do an all natural, home birth, in our little apartment. 😀 In case you were wondering why I was still at home and not on my way to the hospital…) Brenden asked my mom if she thought that he needed to call our midwife, Valerie. He did, and she got a hold of her assistant to head our way, because 1) I was in labor, and 2) she lived a few minutes closer to us than our midwife.
My labor kicked in hard and fast. Before my midwife’s assistant got to our place, I was breathing hard and couldn’t hardly move from my position. My labor progressed very quickly for a first timer (or so I’m told). Brenden and my sisters were working on setting up the birthing pool in our dining room and my mom was trying to help me stay calm and breathe slow and deep. Klarisa (the midwife assistant) was also trying to help me when my mom was busy with helping get things cleaned up and ready for the baby to come. (My brother was told to stay in the bedroom because we didn’t want him getting scared or passing out. He doesn’t do well with anything that is related to blood. He takes after me. Haha!) When Valerie arrived, almost everything was set up and ready to go. From the time that Klarisa got there until Valerie arrived, my labor had become more intense. They kept up with checking baby’s heart rate and my blood pressure, and all the other procedures, to make sure everything was okay.
When the birth pool was ready and filled, they helped me into it to help finish laboring and deliver in it. I’m honestly not sure what time it was by then because, well…. I was in labor!! I knew at least a couple hours had gone by. My contractions were strong enough that I was pushing. I had Brenden give me 2 blessings during my labor. I don’t remember much of what was said during the first one, except that my Savior and Father in Heaven loved me very much and they wanted me to remember the sacrifice my Savior went through for me. He knew that I was in physical pain and if I remembered Him, that He would help me through it and I would be made stronger in the end of it. The second blessing I remember that I was told my whole home was filled, beyond capacity, with angels and family members and friends from the other side of the veil. That they were so excited for the arrival of this baby, and the absolutely amazing things he would do in his life here on earth. I also remember feeling my mom holding my hand, as I cried through some of the contractions, and crying herself, telling me after the blessing that she knew my Great Grandpa and Grandma Kelly were there, on the other side of the veil. She told me that he was helping give me a blessing with other loved ones that had passed on, and with angels. I immediately had peace rush through my body and I began crying with my heart full of love and thanks!
During my laboring, I remember pushing so hard and for what felt like forever. I thought that my water had already broken, and that I almost had my baby’s head out! But no. That was so far from what I thought. In fact, my water had not yet broken. I was in full, hard core labor and it was still fully intact! I only know this because when it did break, I felt a “pop” and a HUGE sense of relief. But, what I DID think at first was that it was my baby’s head. Then I heard everyone saying they were so proud of me for breaking my water with that huge push! I was in shock and honestly a little mad that it was only the water that had broken. I truly thought that I had passed that point a long time ago.
Once the water broke though, labor only intensified and I hit the transition phase of labor. I kept telling myself, in my head, that I wanted the pain to go away and that I wanted the epidural. Then I would fight and get mad at myself for even thinking that! I was stronger than that! I knew what I wanted and that was to have my baby all naturally! God blessed me to be able to have this child. He also blessed me to be strong enough to birth him without having some pain medication that would make the WHOLE feeling go away. I WANTED to feel it all! I wanted to feel when my baby’s head had emerged. I wanted to feel every contraction because I knew it meant that I was *that much closer* to him being born. It was hard. By far, the hardest thing I have EVER done! But, I knew that I could do it and that I was strong enough to.
Brenden was such an amazing support and trooper throughout this whole thing. He got in the pool and held me up under my arms. He was hunched over, because he is so tall and I am so…not tall. I hung from his arms. My whole weight (including the baby’s and the amniotic fluid) depended on him holding me up. During the middle of one of my contractions, I remember telling him how sorry I was for him and holding me up. I felt so bad that his back was aching from holding all my 148lbs up.I apologized and asked him to forgive me. Everyone kind of laughed and told me that I had nothing to be sorry for and to not worry about it. I was giving BIRTH! I still felt bad, but decided that was not what I needed to be focused on.
About a half hour or so before Jaxson came into the world, my midwife had me get out of the birth pool because of something that she was a little concerned about. Thankfully, there was nothing to worry about in the end! 🙂 She had me lay down on the floor and push even if I didn’t have a contraction. The reason why? Because he decided that if he was going to come out of me, that he was bringing part of me with him! He had his hand CLUTCHING the umbilical cord up by the top of his head. This made it EXTREMELY hard for me to push him out. As he was coming out, my midwife, Valerie, had to help pull his arm out before the rest of him could come out too! I gave one last, hard push and he came out! He was immediately placed on my chest and wrapped in my arms. OH! I should add too, Brenden was the one who caught him when he came out! 😀 He was SO happy and excited to be a part of his birth!!
Jaxson Leon Barton was born on Sunday, October 26, 2014, at 10:38a.m. It was seriously the biggest sigh of relief, that I was done pushing him out of me. As soon as he was placed on my chest, I took in his warmth and smell and fell so deeply in love with him! He immediately started crawling up my chest to start nursing. He was so smart right from the beginning! He filled holes in my heart that I never knew I had. He was so perfectly beautiful! I knew that Heavenly Father had placed one of his most beloved sons in my arms, to raise and love and teach. To help guide him back to his Father in Heaven. I will forever be grateful for such a wonderful and most perfect blessing. Jaxson became my world that very second he was born and placed in my arms. No one could ever take that or him away from me.
Today, he is a crazy, happy, fun, loving, exciting, daring, demanding, beautiful, perfect 12 months and 2 weeks old boy. He is Brenden’s and my life. We are SO happy to be his parents! He has helped us grow in so many ways. We have learned so much about ourselves and each other. He helps us learn how to be more loving and patient. We are so grateful Heavenly Father has blessed us with Jaxson. He is the best thing that has ever happened to us.
For those of you who are waiting to have children because of finances or school, or any other reason, I am here to tell you that it truly and honestly is not worth it to wait to have kids of your own. They will bless your lives beyond what you can even comprehend! You will never be able to “afford” having children, but somehow it ALWAYS works out. Heavenly Father will help you to take care of you kids! He will also help you draw closer to your spouse. He will help your love for one another grow SO much stronger. I promise you, your lives will be blessed beyond your wildest dreams. You will have such a joy that you’ve never had before. And let me tell you, it feels dang good! I wouldn’t trade being a mommy for anything in the world! Its the best thing I could have ever asked for!
I hope you all enjoyed my story of Jaxson’s birth. It was one of the most spiritual and uplifting experiences I’ve ever had. It was perfect and beautiful. Thanks for reading it!